Moving out of the shadows....

I had a nice visit with my neighbor yesterday.  We talked for quite awhile until he looked down and saw the goosebumps on my arms.  He commented that we should move out of the shadows......and so we stepped a few feet into the sunshine and continued our visit.  I cut it short to return to work, but of course.....what happened?
It made me think, because that's what I do.
I thought about all of the shadows in my life.  I grew up with two brothers.  One of them was an athlete and the other was a tragic fuck up.  Either way, all the way through high school I was in a shadow.  Teachers expected me to be one of the other.  Well, I'm far from an athlete so I lived under the pressure to NOT be a fuck up.  The shadow was always there....I couldn't disappoint my parents, I couldn't disappoint my teachers, I felt the pressure to live up to everyone's expectations....but my own.  It wasn't until I went to college that I was able to step out of that shadow and start to find my passion and allow myself to occasionally be a fuck up.
As we grow older, we step into different shadows....I became a career oriented person, a wife, a mother...there was always some sort of shadow.  I don't mean to imply that any of those things were bad, we all know the relief of the shade on a hot day.  They were places of comfort, places were I knew what was expected of me and I strived to fill those expectations.
Eventually though, there comes that day.....the day you see the goosebumps and someone says, "Why don't we step out of the shadows?"  And so, you move a few feet.....wow...at first the sun kind of makes you squint and it's a little uncomfortable, but after a bit you just feel the warmth and start to let the light shine on your OWN expectations. 
There are shadows that I will always visit, shadows I find great comfort and solace in....but lately....most days, I'm liking stepping out a few feet into the sunshine.